4/6/09
by: Kat
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Earlier this year, I asked for help from RaptorBlog's readers to vote for my wife's blog, Fickle Feline, in the Mabel's Labels BlogHer '09 Contest. The top prize was a trip to Chicago to be Mabels Labels' blogger correspondent at the annual BlogHer Conference. Thanks in part to your votes, Kat won the contest and now she's living up to her end of the bargain by writing a guest post on RaptorBlog.
I figured the situation surrounding Chris Bosh's child support lawsuit was right within Kat's wheelhouse so I asked her to write a post about that. This isn't a basketball-related post so feel free to skip this (and, ahem, not complain in the comments) if the topic doesn't interest you. We'll return to your regularly-scheduled hoops talk tomorrow. - Scott
I will admit that I raised an eyebrow when I saw the headline "Raptor Bosh a deadbeat dad, lawsuit says" in the Toronto Star a few weeks ago. I was surprised, partly because Chris Bosh has a reputation for being a stand-up guy, and also, because I had the impression that he was fairly intelligent. Without even reading the article I started making judgement calls. Sheesh, isn't he smart enough to wrap it up? Doesn't he know that there are women out there looking to get knocked up by NBA stars so they can collect an easy paycheque every month? My gripe with Bosh was more that he was stupid than that he might be a deadbeat dad — though deep down, I had a hard time believing either.
Once I read the article, I realized that I had perhaps jumped to the wrong conclusion. This wasn't just some random woman, this was Bosh's former girlfriend, the one who endeared herself to Raptors fans by talking smack to Lebron James during a game last season, motivating King James to score 24 points in the fourth quarter, resulting in a win for the Cavs. According to the article, she had filed suit against Bosh, claiming that the two had planned to be married, and that he had paid for her to take fertility drugs so that they could conceive a child together, and do so quickly. She claimed that the child was conceived during the 2008 NBA All-Star break and that Bosh dumped her upon his return from the Beijing Olympics when she was seven months pregnant. Ouch. Having been pregnant, I can tell you that he's lucky she didn't track him down and beat the crap out him. Dumping a woman when she is seven months pregnant with YOUR baby? Damn, that's cold.
The thing is, this really is a case of She Said, She Said, as Bosh isn't talking. The only thing he has said officially on the matter is "All I can say is that I'm going to take care of my responsibilities like I've been doing in the past and in the future and keep respecting everyone. I love my daughter, I love myself and I respect her mother and I'll leave it at that." While his ex-girlfriend is claiming that Bosh left her with no support and no medical coverage, sources close to the situation claim that Bosh has been sending her child support cheques every month since last fall, she just hasn't been cashing them. Huh. Makes me think she is waiting for a bigger payday and is willing to suffer in the short-term for potential long-term gains, baby's needs be damned.
While Scott is of the opinion that Bosh needs to set the record straight and tell his side of the story, I completely disagree. I think that Bosh is actually being more of a man by staying silent on the issue. While everyone speculates as to what really happened, and while his ex-girlfriend slings mud, he has remained silent, even though his reputation may get tarnished in the meantime. That's because, despite unwisely impregnating his ex-girlfriend (be it with fertility drugs or a good old fashioned "oops"), he realizes that the most important person in this situation is neither his ex-girlfriend, nor him, but his daughter, Trinity. By keeping "mum", he is ensuring that he stays focused on the real issue, which is his daughter's well-being. He could easily go on the record to defend himself, but then he'd be making this about him, and likely make the situation worse by engaging his loudmouth ex-girlfriend in a war of words. I'm thinking Bosh has adopted the mantra of George Bernard Shaw: "I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."
We'll probably never know why Bosh broke up with his ex, and it really isn't any of our business. What I do know is that he will make sure his daughter has the financial resources she needs to be cared for, and I'm willing to bet he'll have a presence in her life. Her mom may not get to live a life of luxury she may have hoped for, but the daughter she shares with Bosh will likely not want for much. He may not be as smart as I had hoped, but he is a stand-up guy. 
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