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I'm too discouraged to actually write about what's been happening with the Raptors on the court lately, so I'm going to take this opportunity to sum up the season so far using some quotes from some of my favourite songs and movies. Contribute some of your own in the comments, if you're so inclined.
"You're gonna listen to me? To something I said? Hasn't it become abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don't know shit?" — "Brodie" from Mallrats
Before the season, a certain MLSE employee who also happens to blog about the Raptors was asked by a fan on Twitter who he thought would be the most improved team in the NBA this season. His response? "This is not a 'homer' answer ... I mean it. Toronto." I'll never understand why otherwise intelligent people would expect an employee of any business to have anything close to an objective opinion about that business.
"No matter how hard you try, you can't stop us now." — "Renegades of Funk" by Rage Against the Machine
It's not for lack of trying, but Jose Calderon is pitifully helpless at stopping opposing point guards from having their way with him.
"I'm fixin' to do something dumber than hell, but I'm going anyways." — "Llewelyn Moss" from No Country for Old Men
That's how the Hedo Turkoglu signing seemed to me at the time — dumber than hell. This team needed help with rebounding and defence, so Bryan Colangelo gave a long-term contract to a past-his-prime 30-year-old who is below average at both rebounding and defence. Why should any of us be surprised the team has turned out this way?
"WHAT YOU'RE HIRED FOR, is to help us... does that seem clear to you? TO HELP US, not to... FUCK US UP... to help those who are going out there to try to earn a living... You company man." — "Ricky Roma" from Glengarry Glen Ross
That seems to be Jay Triano in a nutshell. Good company man, but apparently a lousy head coach. Of all the moves Bryan Colangelo has made as President/GM of the Raptors, signing him to a three-year contract after he led the Raptors to a 25-40 record under his watch in 2008-09 was the one that made the least sense. Did he give him the extension simply because he didn't think he had any other alternatives, sort of like how Turkoglu might have got his contract because Trevor Ariza and Shawn Marion may have spurned his advances? Not good enough, Bryan.
"This country is in deep trouble, people! This country is rotten to the core and somebody better do something about it! Now I want you to take your hand out of that bowl of Fritos, throw away your National Enquirer, and pick up the phone! — "Barry Champlain" from Talk Radio
That seems like an appropriate way to describe this team: rotten to the core. Bryan Colangelo needs to pick up the phone and fix this mess he made before it's too late.
"That's it man, game over man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?" — "Private Hudson" from Aliens
It doesn't seem even remotely likely that Chris Bosh will want to re-sign with the Raptors in 2010. Can you blame him?
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